films for when you're seeking tenderness pt. one

sometimes we need to watch something that will hug us.

I am a film lover, especially so in the past few years. My taste are tender, endearing and reflective stories that peek into the lives of everyday people and remind us that no, we aren’t as alone as we think. These films include international films with subtitles, most in which I’ve watched on Netflix, Lookmovie2.to or Criterion, which I strongly recommend to anyone newly discovering the brilliant world of cinema, new and old. I have a list for you. A couple to start with and this is only part one because I have many many more to share. If you’d like you can find me and all I’m currently watching at my Letterboxd.

The Holdovers

We’re starting off really strong. I went to the theatres to see The Holdovers on a cold, winter January in 2023 right after the holidays. I’m not much of a Christmas girl. It’s a weird time for me but this movie of a Scrooge turned softie put me into a holiday spirit of love and found-family. The synopsis is “A curmudgeonly instructor at a New England prep school remains on campus during Christmas break to babysit a handful of students with nowhere to go. He soon forms an unlikely bond with a brainy but damaged troublemaker, and with the school's head cook, a woman who just lost a son in the Vietnam War.” This is the type of film that makes you want to call your friends and tell them how much they mean to you. You also will want a good cup of hot chocolate too.

Moonstruck

A 1987 New York Italian classic starring the legendary Cher in all a tall, beautiful and curly goddess-ness. This film is warm, funny and speaks to the part of us who are in blessed situations but still feel unfulfilled, seeking more. Some of the scenes of New York city is absolutely dazzling. I’m a New York baby myself and it reminded me of the old beauty and charm of this city. Here’s the synop: “an American romantic comedy film about a widowed Italian American woman who falls in love with her fiancé's hot-tempered, estranged younger brother, played by Nicolas Cage.” Oh yeah, young Nicolas Cage is really hot in this too.

Tokyo Godfathers

Just like The Holdovers this one is a heart-felt story set during the days before Christmas that you won’t expect to be as touching as it is in the first chaotic acts . It’s an animated tale of three homeless people living on the streets of Tokyo discover a new born baby among the trash and set out to find it’s parents. If you love a good enemies to buddies, adventure plot with lots of action but plenty of soul you’d enjoy this.

Crooklyn

A classic of classics directed by the Brooklyn icon himself, Spike Lee. If you’ve heard of him it’s probably because of his most popular film Do The Right Thing but another of his best is Crooklyn, Set in 1970’s Fort Greene, Brooklyn a young girl comes to age in an eventful summer with her family of five brothers and a New York neighborhood full of wild characters. It’s deeply cultural. It’s jazzy. You can feel the love and connection of community and family radiate from the screen and into your heart. Also, It’s set in my home city so of course I’m recommending it.

Happy Together

Happy Together tells the story of the tumultuous, one day in love, one day at odds love life of a gay couple living in 80’s China. Its full of yearning, angst and message. This is a film that teaches you when it’s officially time to just let go. The kitchen dance scene alone will hit you in your feelings, trust me.

All Shall Be Well

Another deeply affecting queer tale for the books. I’ve watched this recently. Recently as in last night which inspired me to make this list. This has to be the most tender and meditative film I’ve ever watched and that’s saying a lot because I watch many films of this flavour. With long silent scenes and a a script of fewer words you’ll forget you’re watching a movie and instead a memory. On my Letterboxd I reviewed it as “a film that will break your heart and then pours warm honey over it” Also, if you have any assets you absolutely will feel the urgent need to get your will in order.

Chicken for Linda!

This is when we get up and dance! Chicken for Linda! is a film of grief and memory from a colorful child’s perspective living in a close knit community in France. The animation is truly unique. I have never seen coloring or drawing done this way. It has it’s sad moments, it’s joyous ones and moments that will make you hungry for a home cooked meal. All of it ultimately reminds us there are people who understand and to be mindful of those around us who are just doing their best with what they have left in them.

Muriel’s Wedding

Supposedly this is a very cherished Australian classic. I didn’t know it when I first watched it but I’m not surprised. This stars a young, cheeky Toni Colette before American audiences knew of her. She plays Muriel, an awkward, frustrated twenty-something living with an uncaring family, desperate as ever to be a bride. Muriel is one of those women who defines her very being by being chose by a man. I can’t stand people like that in real life but in this film it makes you empathetic. This plot is about redefining yourself outside of expectations and fantasies. Sometimes you have to get real and take that risky, ridiculous jump in life to finally grow up.

Shoplifters

What makes a good family? Does a family of access, money and resources inherently make that family the best choice? Shoplifters props the question right Infront of your face and makes you confront your own beliefs on classism and poverty. The synopsis goes “After one of their shoplifting sessions, Osamu and his son come across a little girl in the freezing cold. At first reluctant to shelter the girl, Osamu’s wife agrees to take care of her after learning of the hardships she faces. Although the family is poor, barely making enough money to survive through petty crime, they seem to live happily together until an unforeseen incident reveals hidden secrets, testing the bonds that unite them.” You will feel as tender, raw and mushy as ever after this watch but also left with an eye pulled open.