How do you mourn not being able to save the world?

We all are bombarded. By the images, videos, breaking news of all the horrid in injustices happening our communities, in our country and across the world at large. There’s so much pain, so much chaos all at ones it leaves a person feeling helpless. How can I relieve the people of Palestine of extermination and forced starvation? How can I assist in Haiti receiving their just due reparations? How can we protect Burkina Faso from Western interference? How can I save the children from slavery in Congo and Sudan? How can I get Jamaicans their beaches back from colonizers? How can I keep Puerto Rico and Mexico’s losing their land and culture from being overtaken by the wealthy elite? In what ways could I possibly liberate the women of Afghanistan? How can we end racist police brutality in America? How can I even have the energy to think of the world’s plights with my own save myself from my own personal traumas and insecurities in day to day life?

I can’t save the world. I know that. I can get involved in movements and organization as much as I can but they’ll always be soulless evil. There will always be humans with a red eye in betraying and destroying the most innocent. I get it but how do I even begin to come to terms with that?

As of late I’ve been very bitter, disgusted with humanity. I was never a person clueless about the ills of the world but I don’t know apart of me still believed we was better than this. That in all the devastation of the planet there would be some type miracle to erupt that would wake up people’s empathy. There’s just no way humanity could continue to go delve into depravity of these lows right? It can’t be?

but it is.

My big question is how does one mourn this? How does one let go enough to self preserve their own sanity? I’ve jumped off social media trying to banish any knowing of the what’s going on only for what I’ve already witnessed cloud my mind and haunt me. I only return right back to these apps to doom scroll again because I know my brain is just trying to process all of it, to find answers and make it make sense.

All I’ve been able to come up with is cry. One who feels helpless to the titanic oppressive global systems that exploit by the millions can only really cry it out, seems like the only thing that is truly free. Thankgod for it honestly or I would have exploded with grief by now. Sometimes I cry so hard the next day is a washed out blur. It’s soothing a bit and for a couple days I can go about my life without a heaviness on my chest but then I remember the planet I’m on and I start sinking again. It’s a cycle.

I guess mourning something doesn’t mean to ever get over it completely. It’s still is an ache in the heart of the sensitive. It’ll always be there. The only solace I have is that I am still empathetic and in touch with my humanity. I hurt witnessing others suffer because I can actually feel. I still have my God given soul. A soul can be a painstaking possession but it’s one of integrity. My compassion puts me further away from the people who perpetuate hell and in the very least I can find comfort in that.