how Doechii teaches us to have the AUDACITY

if you want to reach for the stars you have to JUMP!

I discovered her from a video short on YouTube. A woman raging with power and energy at the BET Awards, electrifying the crowd with voice, choreo and the rip off of a wig. “Who is this girl?” I’ve never seen her before. The name Doechii in the vid title sounded familiar. I’ve overheard people mention her before but never bothered looking into it. What struck me immediately was that she was deep, dark skinned. We don’t get to see that often. Typically black women put at the forefront of music especially Hip Hop are always light-skinned. The short led me to the full performance which I watched in admiration over and over and over. Seeing the crowd looked shocked by her performance of Crazy, a single that became my first favorite of hers. From then, I kept my eye on her. Found her on socials and kept up to date on her latest work.

It was when I watched her collab song Alter Ego, with another dark-skinned, newly solo, female rapper JT that I realized, “Okay this one, she’s different” she’s over the top, whacky, whimsy, creative and refreshing. I’m a fan of p*ussy rap like many young, black single and turnt women who love to twerk out and have a good time but I admit the scene for female rappers has gotten very one-trick pony. Hot, sexy black woman raps about her kitty, her riches, her desirability and all the ways she can make a men fall to his needs. Who the hell doesn’t like that? but this was what every rap girlie was doing now and tasting the same flavor over and over got monotonous. That’s until Doechii came to rise. As I listened to more of her songs I noticed she’s not shy to talk sex and pleasure either (See: Spooky Coochie) but that’s not all that’s in her arsenal of musical topics.

In the mid Summer in 2024 the ball started to roll. BULLFROG| Swamp Sessions appear on my Youtube subscription latest. I click. Black and white Doechii, asymmetrical do with sharp bang, icy eyes and her behind a jack hammer, butt-botty ass naked in studded cowboy boots. She’s in the dessert. “Titties sitting up-high, Ms. Nigga tough guy, sipping on a Mai Tai, money on the uprise.” It’s official. I’M A STAN.

After that, it seemed like every other day she posted a new Swamp Session music video, “Nissan Altima” being her her most popular overall. I watched every single reaction video I could find. I wanted to know everyone was as gagged over her as I was and they were. Later the next month, late summer bleeding into Autumn she releases THE ALBUM. Actually it’s not an album. Technically, it’s a mixtape. She reveals in an interview on the Joe Budden podcast she actually doesn’t know what the fck it is. She just knows calling it a mixtape made her label loosen up a bit and give her more creative freedom. I’m sure little did her label know this “little mixtape” project would be a career definer. Just like with some of my other Hip Hop faves. J.Cole with The Warm Up, Kendrick with Section .80, Alligator Bites Never Heal is an album in my mind. It’s a solid, cohesive, very strong body of work that changed the trajectory of the artist’s life.

At this point, I’m watching every interview, every Tiktok and Instagram reel, every Genius lyric breakdown, every reaction vid, every Doechii-inspired makeup tutorial I can find. I’m telling everyone I know about her. I’m replaying her immaculate Tiny Desk performance and her song Catfish on Spotify till my laptop gets hot. I’m obsessed. I find out she’s a bisexual girly who’s very connected to the queer influences and the overall scence. I’m even more obbsesed. She’s weird, she’s fun. Her rap sound remind me of 90’s rap legends, A Tribe Called Quest, Busta Rhymes Slick Rick. She has a taste of Nicki. A splash of Doja. I can hear Missy Elliot and Tyler the Creator in her sound (which she’d later excellently collab and perform with in Balloons off Tyler’s internet breaking album Chromakopia) It’s clear she studies the art form. It’s not just a quick money-grab gimmick for her. She loves Hip Hop.

The lesson having audacity I learned as I dug farther in to her Youtube videos. Turns out she’s been making YouTube videos for a long, long time. For an entire decade actually. Her oldest, singing a trio with her friends as a teen. (I recently checked back. Other’s have been commenting “and now you’re a grammy award winning artist! oh doechii you are a legend and it’s only the beginning of your journey” speaking back in time to her. I think that’s so beautiful) Her damn near hundreds of other videos show her progression not just as an artist but as a woman. From her giving highschool freshman advice, to her selling fried chicken and working at Chiptole for extra cash, to her growth in spirituality, romantic relationships and her performances starting in small venues. The most recently and currently trending video resurfaced video I got fired, thank God where she vents about being terminated from a job she needed and decided to see this roadblock disappointment as a sign to go for her dreams full force. It was her time to JUMP. She says “Tomorrow I’m going to go to a bunch of studios and ask if they have any internships open … record label companies, I’m just going to go in and ask. Who gives a fck, I have nothing to lose” she sounds very over it but not thrown off her path. To walk up into the building of a music label company like “hey, I’m looking for work can I get a shot?” takes audacity. It reminds me in Kanye’s early years featured in his documentary where he literally just shows up at Rock A Fella records which was huge at the time, with a CD in hand, walks into rooms of the head and just plays it. Look where he is now. AUDCACITY.

That type of “I don’t give a fck” moment inspires me.

I’m a person who you can say is a decently accomplished person who respectably follows the straight and narrow. I’ve had my successes and my travels but never steering too far out of the status quo. Though, I am grateful to be in a position in my life where I’m not lacking any serious necessities but I want more. I want to be more but part of me is scared that I’ll fall hard and be devestated. I’ve reached high enough as I can to still be safe. I’ve skipped. I’ve sprinted even hopped a few times but I never made THE JUMP. I never had the guts to move out on my own to a new city and chase ridiculous dreams. All that I done thus far is be very practical, very what’s expected of me. I never had the audacity. Watching Doechii’s timeline has exposed to me that I fell for the programming many of us young people do by society. I fell for the trap of being realistic. To just choose a path that is do-able and be happy with what you can get. I wobble back and forth in being grateful and being unfulfilled everyday. Where would I be if I left home early used that extra refund money to get an apartment in another city? What if I didn’t force myself through college and went towards my creative dreams instead? Could I have been so much further along? Would I be less hounded in worries of what family, loved ones and locals think of me? Could I have been mentally free and fully in my truth by now? Playing it safe definitely kept me safe but it also keeps me living a perpetual life of what-ifs, a harsh guilt that I could’ve been more if I had the gall to believe that much in myself.

I don’t know where’d I be for sure but like many other women communicating over socials with Doechii’s big Grammy win last week and motivating, emotional acceptance speech, this feels like a big, bright, neon GO sign. To witness a deep, dark skin Black American woman from the South start as a humble but ambitious visionary to the highest height as a musician winning a Grammy it puts a battery in the back of people who have that dreamer side of them slowly knawing at them to do something. Reminding You on YouTube shares a similar deep sentiment, check her video out too.

I’m a visual artist. I make colorful imagery of the Black/African Diaspora with textiles (you can find my work on IG at alimadethatt) I can see myself going so far. In the past two years of walking towards my creative goals I’ve been featured twice in two major International Arts publications, several art shows, winning artist grants and even being paid for some of my events. More opportunity is flowing in this new career I’ve pivoted to than what I went to college for and got a degree for in this first place. I have something special. I am special and I have a whole lot to say (clearly lol) Sometimes I doubt where I’m doing because everything is still moving so slow and I’m not making livable much less comfortable income to be as financially free as I want and I don’t know HOW I can make living just off my art but neither did Doechii five years ago. In her first video she stated she had only 18 followers. Now she’s has 1.5 MILLION eyes on her creativity. In her Fired video, she had no clue what walking into TDE Label building would do for her. Now. she has one of the most respected bodies of musical work of the new generation. Doechii KNEW she was capable of greatness and she flexes how right she was in a song she dropped a few hours after her major win. She wasn’t delusional for reaching for the stars. I’m not delusional for reaching for the stars. You aren’t either.

In her five year old words, “I have no place. I have no job. I have no children. Who gives a fck? Who cares? I’m just going to DO IT”

Time to JUMP.